i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
That point of drunk where you're in a bar bathroom and you're like "F*ck you bra! I'm not taking your sh*t anymore! and you take it off and throw it in a trashcan.
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Randomize
