the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
Accidentally searched up "pizza pasties" instead of "pizza pastries". I was not disappointed.
If Denver makes it to the Super Bowl I'll quit drinking. So I'm pretty much stocking up on booze
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
