Will you take my knitting needle, stick it far up my nose, reach in my frontal lobe and give it a few swirls?
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
She made me go with her to get a pregnancy test since she's missed a few birth control pills. She made me park in the "expectant mothers" spot at CVS and preceded to ask if it would be in the pest control section.
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
We were sitting in my backseat and he just kept biting me and telling me we weren't at the zoo...
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
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