i was rollin on her like bob the builder
now i know why i became what i already was.
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Randomize
