perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Just taking a shit and realized the captain planet theme song is stuck in my head.
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize
