At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
There's nothing worse than waking up naked on the beach covered in sand and a family walking by.
Dude's from Puerto Rico. Majoring in Spanish is like us majoring in drinking with a minor in watching Forgetting Sarah Marshall.
I think I just got a contact from my own exhale. Def dying.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
You can't find true love with Budweiser and a futon
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
