okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
moms trying to set me up with a 28 year old. hes graduated university like im getting high in my bed and he's an adult
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
after we fucked i left the room and when i came back he was patting his dick whispering "prouda you lil guy...prouda you"
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