I need to have sex with someone before he does. I need to win this break up!
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
I'm sexting with a 20 year old that has a foot fetish... This is what Sailor Jerry drives me to do.
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
