I just bought Christian paraphenilia at Borders for my dad's bday. I had the urge to tell them it wasn't mine, like I was buying laxatives or a dildo
Hahahaha. You probably would have been more comfortable buying either of those than what you just bought
I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
Just had a flash back. Pretty sure i ate toilet paper last night.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
IM GOING TO SIT ON YOUR FACE AND CHANT 'I BELIEVE THAT WE WILL WIN'
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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