Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
My pants zipper is stuck halfway down. I have to interview an intern later. This day is gonna be amazing,
yo dude not sure how this happened but im drunk at your house eating burritos with your mom and sister. hope you're having fun in new zealand
Randomize
