I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
I'm allowing myself one mistake a year. He gets to be 2012.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
So I was having a really bad night...so I decided to steal a pumpkin.
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