Barsexuality is the new black.
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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