It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
sorry like um she made me hold her puke bag while she peed in front of me is that better
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
