Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
home. puking in laundry basket.
A horse told me not to drive home last night. I think there was a cop on top of it.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I'm glad we are bonding over both contracting clamidya. Winners.
100%
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
Drunk and alone at a magic show is what my life has become without you
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Randomize
