I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Wow. He pulled out his dick and I swear I heard a thud from it hitting the floor.
every facebook tagged picture of yours, you are either drinking, swimming or drunk in water
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
He pulled out a coupon for $2.50 off the crab cakes and expected us to share that as a meal. Is that the kind of person you really see me dating?
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
You just kept yelling "you ain't got no pancake mix." to the tv screen
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
Randomize
