my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
No touching my privates on the ride to school. Pinky swear.
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
so... thinking about masturbating finally
taking the losers way out I see
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Oh god I want to come home! They have an air raid siren here that alerts their neighbours across the desert it's time to come over on atvs and drink.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
If pulling your dick out counts as a hobby that is his.
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
