I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
i just hugged the lady at the liquor store goodbye for the summer...
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
Dude. The girls called me over to see what they had in their dorm. They snuck in a pigeon in a cardboard box. They named it Quincey. They swear they're sober.
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
You got pulled on stage by a stripper who wore ruffled ankle socks and did jumping jacks for her dance. Then you were put in a chokehold by a security guard that almost cried because you supposedly said "fuck you!" to him.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
"I feel morally obligated to vote for him since he's my drug dealers dad"
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
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