i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
So hungover. Sitting in class about to puke during this ladys flute performance. Not sure why were having a flute concert in biology
she was puking red wine out the car window, telling me about how shes joining weight watchers tomorrow, not okay.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Do you think I could put your penis on reserve for tonight or tomorrow night?
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Have you ever felt like autocorrect is judging you with its suggested words? Like how it won't suggest certain words until you type in pretty much the entire word, is it just thinking 'No way did this dude use "consent laws" in the same sentence as "17th?" Or is that just me.
I feel like I just did it with Buster from Arrested Development. Taking a shower. #winefail
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
how do you make "fuck me in the break room" sound casual?
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
