so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
I NEED A MOM FRIEND. NOW.
I ended up snorting coke while wearing a Bavarian dress and I feel like I need to reevaluate my life
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
