I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Hey, Would it be ok if me and your wife have a ladies only night and masturbated on FaceTime together?
It's a Saturday night and I am in bed with two cats, a bottle of Riesling, and I'm masturbating to Iron Man. I'm great at being 21.
Randomize