We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
so i was just informed that i sang that song "pop that pussy ayyy pop that pussy" at the halloween party saturday. iembarrassing.
a girl just told me i should have been born earlier in the alphabet
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
dude just did a line with screech. dude is fucking creepy
This day sucks. I just wanna play ostrich and bury my head in your boobs.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
I dont know how I should feel about you making a 37 year old come visit you and then making him do the walk of shame from your dorm room...through campus
I took multi-tasking to a new level. I just ate a plate of nachos off my lap while driving to the bar. And I barely got any on me.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
He's such a jerk. If only his penis was attached to someone else
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
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