just tell him i said nine months
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
There was a reason that "Throat Warrior 2011" was written on my martini glass. He said my title was undisputed.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
