Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
Almost made out with Amanda but I told her "I'm in a committed fake lesbian relationship with Laura. I can't."
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
