WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
I'd say this is worse than that time when I realized that my favorite bath toy growing up was my Mom's douche bottle.
He asked me if I could call his penis destroyer... Uhh SOS.
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
The entire state will know me by my boobs.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Randomize
