On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
i told him he had the best dick i've ever seen. then supposedly i kept repeating "peter piper picked the perfect penis"
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I knew she could be a good mother by the way she craddled three 40oz's.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
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