I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
i slept with her, drove her to her sisters house to babysit, and then drove around the block where i met her sister and had sex with her in my van. I'm family Friendly!
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
Definately going to wake up wondering what happened to the other half of my lip.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
Dude. Went to buy some jack and sailor Jerry, when the guy at the counter realized it was my birthday everybody in the store including the stoners and the elderly sang to me. Then they gave me shots of moonshine. 21st bday was a success
i need to put some appletini on your dick
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
