I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I just made cupcakes.... Vodka icing. Results in the morning.
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
He kept saying I needed to go to the hospital and it just made me want to call him a pussy so I went to bed
You left me a message at 3am crying because you just found out there's a Paddington Bear statue in Peru.
You were more fun when you didn't have morals.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
A bitchslap is in order.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize
