Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
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