Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
She asked me to tell her the three words every girl wants to hear so I whispered "I play hockey" in her ear.
Randomize
