Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
My heart feels like a grape in a barrel about to be crushed into wine
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Last night when we were having sex he put the condom on backwards the first time. While he was putting the second one on I blew up the first one, made it into a balloon and hit him in the head with it. I think we're over the honeymoon stage.
Randomize
