having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
He turned me down because he was still doing his taxes.
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
Plus my stomach has been speaking through my ass all day sending notes saying "fuck you" and "this is from your liver" or "i will kill you."
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
I guess I'll just chalk it up as a learning experience and a lot of great sex.
they set my background as his mugshot to remind me "having a big penis won't be a valid excuse in a court room."
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
