Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
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