I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
No she left bc the of pic I have of my mom in my bathroom. She thought it was my gf
Why the hell do you have a picture of YOUR MOM in your bathroom?!?!
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I gave you keys to my house and drugs. This must mean we're in a relationship.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
