I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
My ex just brought my grandpa weed. Not sure how I feel about this.
Randomize
