i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
I love you. Thanks for all the blowjobs.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
You still owe me a blowjob for knowing more about hurricanes than you.
I'm smoking a bowl in my bathtub. I'm meant to be alone.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
Randomize
