Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Listen here, Ms. "I'm Gonna Get Super Drunk and Run From My Friends Screaming That They Were Going to Drag Her to a Scientology Recruitment Camp"...
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Randomize
