ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
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