apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Where can I buy a trophy for a Groupie Award?
She had sex with a merch guy. . . band guys make you groupies, Merch guys just means she's easy.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
Look, his dick is so good at being a dick that it makes me see God. And I don't even believe in God.
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
Randomize