I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
i just practiced my bj skills on a banana in front of the mirror
its going to be a good night
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
So we went to home depot to buy supplies to build a beer bong but ended up buying an office water cooler that were going to put vodka in
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Someone signed my nipple.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
