he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
She just sent me videos of her blowing my little bro and my best friend... worst. ex. ever.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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