Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
i wanted to go smoke pot, so i told my mom i was getting tutored. she asked what time i would be back, i told her learning doesn't have a curfew
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Please, take the 2 shots of vodka that I left as an apologie.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
How does it feel to date your dad?
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Definitely ended up doing Coke with Chewbacca in the porta potty behind the haunted house.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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