He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
I was totally going to sleep with him, until he got naked and started swinging around his boner singing "I'm so hard. oh yeah yeah yeah, I'm so hard" like Rihanna.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
Nothing like the It's a Small World ride at Disneyland to remind you to take your birth control. I took it on the boat yesterday
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
Almost gave myself a concussion stealing a stuffed unicorn hanging on a street sign but hey I got home safe
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