Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
"I never want to have to say, 'Please don't squirt me with your breast milk' again.
I just found puke in my bra..
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
Randomize
