don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
I hope the walls stop moving before my manager notices that i'm still drunk.
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
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