so we'll all just be running around naked, basically. and high.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
How did I get home last night?
We put your keys on a lanyard that asked anyone that found you to bring you home. A nice man in a cape, green shorts and a mesh shirt dropped you off this morning.
Oh. Yeah. Riiiggghhht
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
Randomize
