My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Breaking a step ladder over someone's back turned into a really fun game, way too quickly.
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
hey u leave my anime porn out of this
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
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