So i'm in mason getting an ultrasound.. and there are a bunch of hicks in here with their wild ass children and this one young mom yells at her kid "harley sit!"
You should introduce yourself as garth. As in garth brooks.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
It made me think of you cause he just screamed "CAPTAIN PLANET" a lot and kicked people in the balls.
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
You jumped into so many bushes for no reason
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
