It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I wish you got a notification every time someone masturbated to a Facebook picture of you...
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
She started ignoring us once we told her we were out to celebrate your abortion. Who knew strippers could be judgemental?
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I'm afraid I might run into that fat chick that sucked on me in the hospital parking lot while her friend cried in the car next to us, but I may be willing to take that chance.
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Randomize
