so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
I fucked him in a hamburger. literally. he has a hamburger bed.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel hall a pop tart. He stopped crying.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Randomize
