My mom asked me if I was being satisfied, sexually. And then discussed positioning.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
These tits shall not be calmed
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Randomize
