I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
we started pounding beers an hour ago to celebrate our personal snow day tomorrow. vodka shots for u of i's actual decision are on standby.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
Make sure you have everything youll need until sunday. aka a green shirt and condoms.
Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
Randomize
