i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
If my plane goes down do me a favor. Break into my house and get the batman costume and swing out of my bedroom.
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
Sorry this is taking so long. I'm looking for my dignity.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
Randomize
