Damn I can't remmbre the last tome I had sobr sex
Um. I believe with my boyfriend, slut
Fuck. Wron person. But yea
shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
It was just a friend comforting a friend. Except his penis was inside of me.
Pretty sure I just heard the turkey yell "don't put me in there" as it was going in the oven. way too high for this holiday.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
