You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
at any given day I am at least 60% invested in my work. today I am staggered around 3.5%
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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