I know its small, but please -- stop calling it my "weenis".
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Hypothetical question: If a guy wanted to watch you fuck me, would you be willing to take a long lunch break on Wednesday?
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
if i ever wake up in the morning and don't feel a boner in my asscrack then this relationship is over
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
Randomize
