I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
what customs doesn't know wont hurt them
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Dan marino should def buy this ambulance. But not this one. I'm gonna fuck this ambulance up
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Everyone is all excited about the iPhone 7 being water resistant and I'm only concerned with whether or not it can be destroyed by salsa or cum
I just don't understand why your parents aren't supporting your dreams of being a medieval weapon smith.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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