dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
His second form of ID was an emergency room wristband from an hour ago. What the fuck is going on right now
Haha yeah he had an allergic reaction to the alcohol earlier. He thinks that if he only drinks vodka he will be ok...
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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