Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
Poopin on the sidewaaalllkkk. I wish my text told you that was a song
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
this dude, we had a connection. he kept smiling at me. it's like he knew i was gonna facebook stalk the fuck out of him
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
Told my brother the truth how I meet her...I grabbed the first thing I could when the cops came. 10 months later we are engaged.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
I just got a text from a guy. The python is ours if we want.
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
