And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
If hangovers were people John Goodman would be living in my skull trying to eat the back of my eyes
you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I need a hoe opinion
go on
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
