Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
She's been divorced three times and use to raise cock fighters. Of course I'm interested in her
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
We've been broken up for 7 months. His mom sent me a card with a brochure inside titled "How at Risk for STD's are you?"
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
He's a huge toolbag douche loser with a below average dick who doesn't know how to treat a girlfriend. He was my rebound after Brady. It was a pitiful 1 month rebound "extravaganza"
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
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